Review of Widows, or Why Do That and HT & NDR

[Note: I have not posted a movie review since November 18, even though it is the middle of Oscar-bait season. This is because over Thanksgiving weekend I slipped on ice and hit my head, causing a “mild TBI.” BTW the doctor once told me that when medical personnel say mild they mean it happened to someone other than them.:-) since then I have been unable to write reviews or much of anything else of any length, but now am feeling well enough to write “short ones in” for the three movies I’ve seen since the accident. BTW #2 going to the movies is harder on the brain than one might think.:-)]

In our household, we have a movie rule call the Hyser theory, named after an old friend who first postulated it. This rule says there is a negative correlation between the number of ads seen for a movie and the quality of the movie.

The Hyser theory went into effect for Widows.

We went to see it just two weeks after my accident and it was the struggle for me. Some of it even have to do with the accident. J

 I actually heard someone say in reviewing the Oscar-bait movies that this was the one movie they wanted to see. I hope that person wasn’t disappointed.

Because see Widows is a high-concept movie. If you haven’t seen it advertised, it’s about a group of widows who decide to take over their dead spouses’ job which just so happens to be robbery.

Okay, so, let’s get this straight: you act like you don’t know what your spouse does for a living, they die, you find their plans to their next job, call a meeting of the other spouses who died with them, and decide that because you need the money you’re going to play NFL football and and win. WTF thinks this is a good idea?

Okay, they do this. The problem is the whole thing is formulaic: I actually leaned over and said it to my wife more than once ”who saw that coming?”

And then there’s what I’m about to call the “Not-Dbrolaw Rule (NDR).”  Someone in the movie has to be likable. The only person who comes close in this movie is the number 4 woman in the gang, played by Patrese McClain. I’m going to ignore the fact that she handles a gun and robs and maybe shoots people because we like her story and ‘tude.

We really don’t like Violet Davis’s character, who becomes a nasty-ass criminal, which may be the female empowerment equivalent because her husband, played by Liam Neeson, is a nasty-ass criminal. Don’t mind seeing him dead. Colin Ferrell’s character is  supposed to garner some sympathy, but no he’s a nasty-ass politician, though he seems to not like doing what he’s doing.

 In the end, the movie is not as good as the sum of its parts. With Steve McQueen at the helm and Davis in the lead, you would expect to have a better movie than this.   This will go down as the shining glory neither one of them.

Not really recommended (I’m going to start doing this)

NB in the next few days I will be posting reviews for The Favourite and Mary Poppins Return, which I’ve seen over the Christmas holiday.  Keep an eye out, k?