Speaking of Are We Going There?!?!

It's Tuesday.

Yes, Tuesday.  Mark it on the calendar.

A friend sent me this funny --

Useless Purchase Poker:

I'll see your 2020 Planner

and raise you a travel backpack and an ESPN subscription.

Yup. 😂

Speaking of travel backpacks:  we had two trips to London planned for this spring.

We ain't going in two weeks, for sure.   Cancelled a long time ago (by the university).

But then there's Delta.  It took 45 minutes on hold on the phone before an "agent" finally talked to me -- it then took about 5 minutes to get my money back (supposedly -- "it may be a week before it shows up on your credit card").

You see, Delta was acting like there wasn't a travel ban from here to Europe.  Like someone was really getting on that flight (which BTW had changed airports and times) to London. 

😡😡😡

So, that's annoying.

But we also have tickets on British Airways for June 11. 

They think we are going.

This is crazy-making, as someone used to say.

I know the travel ban doesn't go that far, but does anyone think we are opening up the airways to Europe by then?  Is anyone going to want to travel for pleasure then, especially by air?  You did see one of the airline workers unions asked that pleasure travel be banned for the near future, right?  You know, it's like seriously dangerous being on a plane with someone who might be asymptomatic (who knew that word before this started?) just for shits and giggles?

So, here I am, wondering about June 11th.  My wife has said "no way am I getting on that plane" and I laugh and say British Air thinks you are. 😂

They are insane.  That they don't make it easy for you to cancel, postpone, or refund flights till...well, till there's herd immunity (which might not be a thing here) or a vaccine is not good business.  I know I'm going to look closely next time before picking BA.

But let's get to the point here: what are we looking forward to?  The end of "this"?  Our governor is allowing outdoor activities as of Friday (and the liquor stores are upscaling so you can get liquor easier).  Is that it?  Pretty blah.  At least gas is the cheapest it's been since 1892 so you can drive cheaply to...pretty much nowhere.

I doubt much of anyone is taking a vacation this summer.  Not much in the way of trips.  Disney Land and World are still closed (though the crazies in Florida are going to let Floridians go to World, which is really crazy -- ever been to one of those?  You're in line with ten people inside the social distancing circle CONSTANTLY!  The food venues you eat on top of someone (last time there, in Cali, we actually had to sit with two young women we did't know -- would you do that now?!?!). 

So, we are all bummed out and the airlines think we are going.  It doesn't get any more existential than that. 

Where ya going?

I missed yesterday blogging.  In fact, the readership stats said there wasn't a lot of delight about Saturday's. 😞

But it's Monday.  Yes, readers, it is MONDAY!  Doesn't have the same bang it once did, does it?

I don't envy the governors who have to decide when to reopen states.  Our governor has said he's looking at May 8th -- a week from Friday -- to do some reopening.

Go for it, Guv!

But I'm going to write this down: you can open, it don't mean we're going there.

I'll run down a list.

• Are you going to a restaurant to eat on May 8th?  May 15th?  
• Are you getting your haircut?
• Are you going to a movie theatre? (this used to be one of our favorite weekend activities)
• Are you going to a baseball game (they are arguing about how to reopen safely and play games)?
• Are you getting on an airplane? 

I'll help you with the answers most sane people will give: no, no, no, no, and hell no!

If true for a good number of Americans, I'll break this to those wanting the economy "back" -- it isn't back till we can do all those things without worrying.  

For instance, airplanes.  The airlines are in the dumpster.  They have federal bailout money.  But they are down from like 2.5 million passengers a day to 100,000.   Will they be back to 50% in May?  I don't think so.  (part of this, of course, is determined somewhat by whether venues like Disney Land and World are even open -- if they aren't, you aren't getting on a plane for nothing).  We have tickets to London (bought last fall, believe it or not, and fares we thought were cheap) for the middle of June -- the decision-maker here says there's no way we're getting on that plane.  How about July?  Eh.  August? still eh.  Christmas break?  Well, maybe.  At this point, our best guess as to when to reschedule is next year at spring break (March).  

If that's true of a significant number of people, it'll be forever and a day before the airlines are back to 2.5m per day.  That part of the economy isn't back soon.

And if it's true of airlines, think of all the others in the same boat.  No theatres, no concerts, no sport events (with crowds).  No catered events.  

And oil.  Did you see last week they'd pay you to take 1,000 barrels of oil (what I'd do with it, that's a different story)?  Pay YOU!  Demand is zero.  So, even if there's a "reopening" on May 14th (two weeks from today), who's jumping in their car and driving?  Now so many commuters have found that they can work from home, are they going to start commuting again on May 14th?  I don't think so.  Are we going to drive to vacations?  Again, I don't think so.  

Consumers in cars and trucks make up 40% of US demand on oil.  If it's down a quarter, then it's still a major hit to the economy. 

And remember that at least 23m people have filed for unemployment the last 5 weeks.  

So, no matter what the great push is, we ain't coming back soon.  We aren't going out to places like we did and a whole bunch of industries are going to continue limping at a low percentage of what they were for a long, long time. 

So, get that straight, people! 

Haircut? Tattoo you!

Okay, I started this blog to chat about what was going on during the pandemic.

What wasn't going on is we weren't getting haircuts (or tatoos).

Until now!

The governor of Georgia has partially "reopened" his state, especially hair salons and tattoo parlors.

If you haven't been watching the news, you might wonder about this.  As you are about to see, even if you do, you should wonder about this.

The funniest tweets about this was a set a week ago of this woman in Detroit, protesting, leaning out of her car window, showing the camera crew "see, I need a haircut now."  The video showed her gray roots down the center of her scalp.

Someone took this clip, showed the average growth of hair, how long the gray was, and calculated that it had been OCTOBER the last time she had her hair done!  Like, what were you doing then that was so important and now suddenly in a pandemic your roots are a priority. 

We really didn't need all the calculations to figure out it was ludicrous.

We need haircuts!  We need tattoos!  I want a tat that says "America...the world's dumbest country."

I really don't get the hair and tattoo thing.  Oh, yeah, bowling alleys...bowling alleys??!?!!?

Sure, I understand that all these proprietors are "small businesses" blah blah blah, but for those worried about the economy -- are we really a country whose economy is driven by haircuts, spas, tattoos, and bowling??!!??  I think we are in serious trouble if we are.

We can live without all of them; we can't live with the virus.  Literally.

And if it's not about "economic engine," then it's about looks?  Then we are the world's most superficial nation?  We can't imagine sitting at home with bad hair -- when we're not supposed to see anyone?  You're kidding, right?  Right?

It is a great stumper, why these kinds of businesses have become a cause celebre in these troubled times.  But then yesterday lots of people had to tell people not to ingest bleach, so I guess there's no explaining a lot of things.

Enjoy the nice weather (at least here, for a day) and don't worry about your hair.  It sucks, but so does everyone else's.

Havin' a Birthday. And a draft!

[think of this as yesterday's blog.  I got distracted! 😁]

It's Shakespeare's Birthday!!!  🎉

Well, okay, let's be pedantic (our thesaurus word for the day) -- we don't know he was.  He was christened on the 26th, that we know, the records still exist, but we assume that's 3 days after he was born, but we don't know for sure.  Like a lot of things about Willy Shakes.

Surely you've heard (or are about to) that Willy lived through multiple pandemics.  During the one he wrote his two long poems, Venus and Adonis and The Rape of Lucrece.  Clearly, he was as bored as we are. 😀.  During a later one, again quarantined, he merely kicked out King Lear.  You should feel bad about yourself (sorry) if you aren't matching that output.  You know, two poems that would make you famous on their own or maybe one of the great plays of all-time.

Before moving on (since this is to KILL TIME!), I will point out that his childhood home is still there in Stratford-upon-Avon (and his tomb) and you can visit if you should go there.   Stratford-u-A is a nice little market town, but it'd no doubt amuse him to see how touristy and kitsche it is, given it is nowhere near any "beaten path." 

Let me also remind you that he died on this day in 1616, yes, just 52-years-old.  A month before he made his extant will and it said he was in good health.  Lots of pandemics, remember. 😢

My Twitter feed was full of people finding ways of sharing things they were doing for his birthday.  So many feeds, so many people with time on their hands.

Now, to the second part: the NFL draft.

I never watch it.  Didn't this year.  I am not sure what there is to watch, really.  Announce a name, the player comes on stage, puts on a hat, shakes the commissioner's hand, and we rinse and repeat.  Of course there are highlights, but most of these guys are better known than your local Congressperson, so there aren't many highlights you haven't seen before (since you probably watched those games).

But I do watch the feed to keep up who is doing what.  And read some of the mock drafts to know what might happen.  It was funny how many guys (all guys!) thought we wanted to see their mock drafts on Twitter yesterday morning.  I almost made up one of mine just to mock them. :)

Anyway, nothing exciting happened.  People tweeted "live sports are back" -- no!  A draft is not playing a sport, but there you go.  (you know that multiple race tracks are running horse races, as per normal, even as we talk and Churchill Downs is talking about opening...maybe "soon" is the wrong word). 

Anyway, nothing exciting happened, by which I mean for the first ten or more picks it was about as predicted by people.  In the teens a couple teams "reached" -- went for a player consensus had lower in the talent list -- and then there were some trades, including the Packers, who have been blessed for a generation with great quarterbacks, trading up and taking a quarterback (his wonderful name is Jordan Love.  One headline, the winner, said "Heir Jordan."). 

So, today there was something.  Tomorrow -- TGIF!!!  🎉.

It's hump day: who has a mask?

Yes, it's Wednesday.  Day 40.  That's the way I'm counting it.  You can do your own count.

Hump day.  Sure it is.  But that hump seems a lot less important when you can't tell Wednesday from Saturday. 

Remember the day when wearing a mask meant you were going in to rob a place?

No more.  They are more of the norm.

Almost.

Saturday morning I made our traditional trip to the local bagel shop.  I wore a mask.  All the workers wore masks. 

But most of the customers didn't!!!  Mostly 20-something males -- you know, the kind of people who survive everything.  Right? 

But back to masks.

I saw one yesterday I wanted: it had Sponge Bob and Patrick on it!  :)

This is a thing.  You go on the internet (see yesterday on shopping therapy) and you have no trouble finding all kinds of patterns.  My daughter has a Gryffindor mask (nerd!).  [if you have to ask what that is, you slept through a whole generation of pop culture inculcation]

One local business has transitioned into making masks.  These have a special filter inside. 

Lots of people have sewed their own with all kinds of patterns.  My son has one, given by work, that's an American flag.  Just because, you know.

Of course, you never know when you might want or need a camo one. :).

Masks.  I won't go all profound here about the new thing of us all wearing masks -- a new metaphor for hiding our real selves -- but we might all need masks as identifying, or worrying about, those who have the virus.  We all go out with masks (unless you're a 20-something male) and wonder who without one, or even with one, might be carrying Covid.  How long before those who have had it are identified somehow to all of us? 

Maybe not. 

But we'll have masks to keep us safe.

Shopping therapy

It's Tuesday.  Day XXX of SAH.  (for me, personally, it's 39).  No, I'm not crazy!  😜

It's time to talk about that unspoken elephant in our room: all the delivery trucks going up and down our streets even under the SAH order.

We even have Amazon Prime going through our neighborhood.  As well as FedEx, UPS, and, of course, USPS.

It does not take a genius to know we are, many of us, sitting at our computer, or iPad, or just a phone, hunting and clicking.

Lots of stuff is sold out, or temporarily out of stock.

Try getting a pair of hair clippers. 

Or try getting anything having to do with cleaning.  You can get organic, not germ killing, but not anything that might kill the virus. 

Masks aren't easy to get either.  Though Etsy will sell you one that they tell you isn't one that's good by the CDC for the virus.

But we all are shopping.  Looking.  A box or package comes here almost every day.  A delivery of wine.   Then, because, you know, you have to have room, a new, bigger wine fridge.  New outfits.  Especially tops (you know, bc everyone checks everyone out on zoom meetings). 

I wish I could claim there were books or something edifying like that. 

Nope, it's clearly retail therapy (new sweaters? they were on clearance, of course!)

We live in an age of consumerism.  Is it advanced consumerism?   Well, it is compared to previous generations.

And the Covid-19 has shown us both the error of that -- stores going out of business and people not having jobs -- and the good of it (we can keep buying through a pandemic). 

But we have our wine! 

Till tomorrow.

Monday blahs and everyday idiots

Yup, it's Monday.  Somewhere somebody's happy.

That is, of course, a lie.

But let's act like it isn't and someone thinks Monday is just fine.  Rah rah. 

But it's not.

Weekends are hard to differentiate. 

And this week I have almost nothing on my schedule.  Not even a single Zoom meeting, after a bevy of them last week.  (I'm working on my vocabulary)

Speaking of bevy (you knew I'd find a way to use it again), there have been a bevy of idiots roaming state capitols recently. 

Why do they wave Confederate flags?  They know they lost, right?  And they know they are protesting against state rights (which was kind of a big deal to the Confederacy) by protesting at the capitol, right?  That it is governors who have been doing the work on the pandemic while Washington is fighting them for test that will actually allow us to go back to normal?

Why do they bring their guns?  Is it because some states have closed gun stores as non-essential?  Unless you're using it to get your meat every day (and if you are I bet you already have at least one gun to do that), it's NOT essential.  And, just in case you don't understand, it won't work on the virus.

Oh, that's right, the whole Covid-19 thing is just another flu. 

Uh huh.   Covid has killed 40,000 plus Americans already.  That's 10 years of flu.  The thing these people don't understand is when we talk about flu-related deaths is that we report everybody who had the flu and anything killed them.  For covid, we are only counting cases that we KNOW were the virus (had to be tested positive).  If you never got tested and died suddenly and you had COPE or some other condition that might have killed you anyway, you aren't one of the 40,000.

And Dr. Phil saying we kill more people with cars each year: yes, and we have laws to try to reduce that every year, too.  Seat belts, air bags, speed limits.  If everyone went around going as fast as they wanted with no seat belts, bumpers, or airbags, how many people would we kill.  And let's not forget little kids and their car seats.  We bear the risk and try to be careful and not kill people.

Going out without a mask and getting inside the 6' zone of people, not washing your hands, etc, is like driving at 100 in a car without a seatbelt, heck, maybe not even a windshield (we mandate those too) and hoping you will be all right if someone pulls out in front of you.

So, that's today's rant.  I feel only a little better.  Maybe we'll have more fun tomorrow.   It IS Monday! 😡