Penn Mile & Other Gut Checks

Yes, that post title will be funny, maybe, in a moment.

This weekend is the Penn Mile at Penn National, the nearest race track to my home.  It's the biggest purse stakes race ($500k) in track history, and probably in Pennsylvania history (which is a bigger deal when you realize that PA actually gives a state appropriation to support the horse racing industry in the Commonwealth).  It's the 4th race on a Saturday evening card, and they are hyping the evening as starting with an all-stakes opening pick 4.

But before that I have to survive my third colonoscopy.

Yes, I'm lucky enough to have had a father with colon cancer, making me an "A" in terms of colon watch.  I am supposed to have one every three years.  I have put this one off "awhile."

My first one, BTW, was back when they only partially put you asleep for them; now, thankfully, they knock you out and you have no clue what they do to you while you are out.  Having been half awake for one, I'm okay with being knocked out.  I mean, there's an odd fascination thinking that picture on the screen of this dark tunnel is actually your insides, but there's no way to get over the fact you are being violated (even ever so gently).  In my mind, it's just best to sleep through it all.  I like sleep.  Not into my own dark tunnel.

But it's not so bad as medical procedures go.  Of course, that's a line from a doctor, too, and you know the response: it's never so bad if they aren't doing it to you.

The worst part, almost anyone will tell you, is the prep.  Right?  You have to be "cleaned out."  You know what that means?  You are told to take more laxative pills than the box claims you are supposed to take in two days; you take more laxative in Gatorade (warning: don't go with the red) than you are supposed to take for weeks.

And, of course, you don't eat.  Popsicles, hard candy, jello.  Drinks.

No one wants to find a filet mignon up your a**.

Funny thing that.

If I survive, I will have at least an intellectual (i.e. if I'm not betting, I may wish I was) in the Penn Mile.  It's on HRN -- the horse racing network, which I seem to get because I have the local cable sports package -- Saturday evening.

You may recognize a couple of the contenders:  Charming Kitten, who ran in the Derby on the first Saturday in May, and Noble Tune, the linesmaker's favorite, Noble Tune, who has four wins and a second in his career on turf, including a nice win the on Oaks day at Churchill.

Kitten is a Todd Pletcher horse and ridden by Derby winner Joel Rosario; Pletcher and Jose Velasquez team up on Jack Milton, while the second favorite is actually Rydilliuc, a Gary Contessa trained horse that has "only" gone 3-for-3 on the turf, including a 5 1/2 length win the last time out on turf over a mile, too.

Those are the prime candidates.  DRF likes 20-1 shot Triple Cross (#5).  He's never run on turf.  And the last three races hasn't run in the 80s for a Beyer rating.

It's an interesting race.  Look for it on HRN.